You may have heard that Big 12 Commissioner Brett Yormark, he of the splashy partnerships and harebrained revenue-generation tactics, has decided to be a big baby coward on behalf of his conference’s football teams. The Malcontents™ would never (could never!) engage in such a lack of integrity.

Plus, picking a conference where every team is exactly the same? Easy. Light work. We’ve got just the people for the job…

We have once again consulted the internet’s foremost experts on anything and everything, this time pointing them toward a 16-team conference with a 12 in its name. Such numerical chicanery led multiple members of The Panel to lean on a metric we carry with us from preschool onward: alphabetical order.

Rest assured that with such statistical fortitude on their side, The Panel will be found absolutely correct on all matters Big 12 football come early December.

Six teams received 1st place votes while ten were picked to finish 15th or 16th. We are haters through and through.

Rest easy knowing that Farmageddon, coming to you live from Dublin in Week 0, is the conference title preview.

“I followed the rules even though Baylor is really my last place team because fuck Baylor.”

“Doing this by name recognition only to realise1 none of these teams have name recognition.”

“We’re looking at Arizona State as a proven quantity here. Things are fucked.”

“I put UCF/Cincy as low as possible because they are not Big 12 teams.”

“Prove to me that Matt Campbell can’t bullshit his way to another conference title game.”

“There are too many Big 12 teams.”