So, what’s been going on in the NBA?
A lot. The league with the most twitter-trending stories has not been short of them for the 36th year in a row. Ja Morant’s return, Klay leaving Golden State, multiple in-game fights, someone named “Bronny James.” If we were to recap every major plot, subplot, or funny bit, you would have about 30,000 words to read. Instead, we thought a different approach might work.
Teaching dumb dogs new tricks.
Okay, so quite literally the previous article featuring The Panel™ stated that we only know how to do one thing. That is still true, but we are trying our best to expand our move set.
Can you believe they traded Luka?
Literally every single one of us:
NOPE!
Adam:
I wanted to write about this after the trade went down, but in full transparency I was too filled with anger to collect my thoughts. By the time I had a chance to think through it all and present a coherent story, it felt a little late to echo things that have already been said. As The Malcontents’1 only Dallas Mavericks fan,2 I’m going to try to consolidate my feelings and not take over the entire article:
Trading Luka broke a generational agreement between the Mavs and their fans. My generation of North Texans only gives a shit about basketball because of Dirk. The Mavs never turned their backs on Dirk, Dirk never turned his back on the Mavs, and both never turned their backs on us. We would rather try and fail with our guy than succeed with hired guns.
The return felt like a slap in the face. Trading a player of Luka’s caliber is going to piss people off not matter what. Only getting a single first round pick, being talked down by your buddy (who is stealing from you), and not trying to extract the best possible return is infuriating.
Nico, show some fucking spine. What’s certainly not helping is the rhetoric about Luka and inconsistent messaging as to the reasons behind the trade. Within 24 hours, you told us you were concerned about offering the supermax, concerned about Luka signing the supermax, had no hesitation in offering the supermax, and there was no indication that Luka wouldn’t sign the supermax. It’s clear that you needed to get Luka out as quietly as possible, evidenced by having to send out a 2nd to keep the trade a secret from Luka’s camp. It’s cowardly and probably going to cost your job within the next few years. Like you said, you’re not worried about 10 years from now because you’ll bury yourself before then.
It’s gonna take a very long time to get over this. Watching Luka ascend among the legends of the sport over the next decade as a Laker is going to be a constant reminder that he should be doing this in Dallas. Trying to reconcile not enjoying that while also trying to pretend Anthony “Street Clothes” “Day to” Davis will be healthy enough to lead the Mavs back to where Luka already took them is painful to think about. At least Max Christie seems to be nice with it.
Who is the best team in the NBA?
Matt:
I don’t want to say the Celtics, I do not like the Celtics, but I cannot trust the Cavaliers man. The Western conference is busy eating each other alive. The Eastern has a clear top two, and I’ve seen this movie too many times before. The Cavs two best scorers are under 6’3” (Donovan Mitchell has wingspan and athleticism that makes you forget about it) and struggle against large defenders. You know who can throw monsters at them? The playoff teams the Cavaliers want to beat to consider this season a success. What’s the plan when Jaylen Brown and White are sitting on the guards? Evan Mobley is coming, and he’s already here on defense, but he doesn’t shoot three threes a game yet. Mobley closes space driving very well, so he can punish teams that help off him without solely needing to shoot, but I’ve got to see it first.
conor:
Shai Gilgeous-Alexander gets to the cup at will against any and everyone. The defense is very rude. Thunder in 6.
Adam:
Before the Luka trade it was the Thunder. It’s still the Thunder. The Mavs would have beat them in the playoffs because they can’t stop PJ Washington.
Who is this year’s best rookie?
conor:
I talked a ton of shit about how Zach Edey would get played off the floor once he got to the NBA. Too slow, not enough range, unfit for the modern game, yada yada. All he’s done since getting drafted is average 10/7/1 and a block in 20mpg. He put Wemby on a poster. I am so dumb.
Guapo:
Is this a joke? It’s Steph Castle. It’s so obviously Steph Castle. What are we even doing here?
Matt:
Some years the rookie of the year is Wemby. Sometimes it’s Malcolm Brogdon. This looks like a Malcolm Brogdon year, with a lot more solid players than potential stars out there. Alex Sarr is embryonic, which is fine, no one on the Wizards is ready to play serious basketball either. His veterans are Jordan Poole and Kyle Kuzma for god’s sake. A couple of centers have pulled a Derrick Lively and skipped much of the learning curve to become immediate starters (Yves Missi, Zach Edey). Stephon Castle, Jaylen Wells, and Tristan de Silva have been plug and play on the perimeter. But at the end of the day Sarr is the rookie of the year favorite because his combination of athleticism, ambition and infinite opportunity to fail. Absolutely nothing he does this year matters except for improving week over over week. So far, so good. Also, somehow this fucking kid winning rookie of the month is the first award a Wizard’s brought home since Bradley Beal.
Adam:
Anyone but Stephon Castle to annoy Guapo.
What has been the most interesting storyline to follow?
Matt:
Lonzo Ball went from a guy who I genuinely was concerned may never walk normally again to all the way back to a +/- god during NBA games. I don’t know what magic or science they used on his knee but it’s borderline miraculous. And he got a vocals credit on his brother’s (shockingly good) single. It’s all been coming up Zo lately.
Adam:
I would like to echo the Lonzo Ball shout. Him getting an extension halfway through the year after most of us figured he would never play again is pretty amazing. Another thing that has been in my mind is how flawed the West has become one year after being the toughest conferences in a generation. Teams are still good, but they all have a very defined weakness that could be exploited. It might be a situation like last year where the East, who is worse, has a better overall team represented in the Finals.
Do you like the new All-Star Weekend?
Matt:
No, Adam Silver has this compulsion to tinker that keeps him from sticking with stuff that works. The Elam ending was fine! Drafting teams was one of the most fun dynamics they’ve introduced in years. But that was then and this is now and now must be different, apparently.
conor:
Fuck Adam Silver all my homies hate Adam Silver.
Having seen it, there was some compelling basketball. The very low target score (40) meant that things moved from silly warm-up to pseudo-crunchtime quickly. But 2/3 games were largely uncompetitive and it felt like more filler in the broadcast than ever.
Mike D (special guest appearance):
The disqualification of Chris Paul is a travesty and an affront to intelligence. A legitimate shot, much like beauty, is something determined by the eye of the beholder. Chris and Wemby should not have been punished for being smarter than their competitors. They should have been applauded.
conor:
See? I told you everyone hates Adam Silver.
Adam:
I was watching college baseball/hockey/NASCAR. I don’t even like NASCAR.
Funniest moment of the first half?
Matt:
Every single time an NBA player says they are done dunking they are lying to you. Just wait. It’s like saying you’re going to eat more salads. Sure, it’s better for you, but are you actually going to make those choices? When Ja Morant says it? Doubly so. But even I didn’t expect this to backfire on him so immediately.
Adam:
So many options at play here. LeBron dunking on the entire Mavs franchise. LeGM dunking on the entire Mavs franchise. Conor’s LeBrondent Report. Anthony Edwards working too much on his pull-up game and not enough on his pull-out game. However, the funniest thing to me will always be seeing a player do something that I would do at Lifetime Fitness during a pickup game. Enter: Ben Simmons
Most likely team to implode between now and April?
conor:
The Cavs. They’ve dropped three in a row (as of 1/27)3 including one to the shambling corpse of the Joel Embiid era. The schedule has been the 3rd-easiest so far and they’re going to fade out of the All-Star break as push comes to shove.
Adam:
The bones of this article were outlined before February 2nd, 2025.